Ashley Kaimowitz
1985 - 2005
Uthando Labatwana (For The Love Of Our Children)
The Story of the Nonceba Counselling Centre
by Ashley Kaimowitz
Some of the greatest adventures of one's life are not always those that are read about in history books or heard about on the news. On the contrary, adventure that marks growth and achievement from within, whilst learning and opening your own mind to new concepts and realities, is indeed true adventure, because this sort of experience takes the individual from one place in their life, to a path much farther afield. I would choose such an adventure over climbing any mountain or discovering any new lands…
The greatest adventure that I have ever embarked upon has also turned out to be the greatest accomplishment of my life. My story begins at 16 years old, in my Grade Eleven year of High School…
I enrolled in Herzlia Primary School in Grade 1 and matriculated from the Herzlia Senior High School in 2003. In 2002, I became secretary of the Rotary sponsored Interact Committee, the largest and most active school club at Herzlia (as has been the case for nearly a decade). The committee promotes social awareness, fights moral injustices and participates in a variety of charitable and outreach projects and programmes. It was in February of 2002 that the executive committee, including myself, visited a small counselling centre deep in the heart of the Western Cape township, Khayelitsha, having been contacted by the centre's main fundraiser and correspondent, Hazel Black.
The Nonceba Family Counselling Centre was established in 1998 by local resident, Nocawe Mankayi, with the help of other locals, in a desperate attempt to fight what has become South Africa 's second largest epidemic after AIDS – Rape. In Khayelitsha, 1 in every 3 girls is raped by the time they are 21 years old.
The centre is entirely a non-profit activity and receives no aid from the S.A government. It operated from a small rented brick room with its only visible appeal being its donated jungle gym and cabbage patch that surrounds it. Its dedicated volunteers counsel victims of rape and abuse (mainly children) and provide both legal and psychological aid to the victims and their families'.
They also teach the community about rape and its consequences.
We entered the little centre and were shown into a small room wherein sat a 4 year old little girl, with the saddest, loneliest face I have ever seen. She had been raped by her father the previous night and had just been brought to the centre by a family member. My father is my hero, my protector and caregiver. When the reality of this little girl's life and future dawned on me I was more overwhelmed by emotion than I had ever been to date. I leaned down and opened my arms and the little girl looked at me and then buried herself within my hug. I began to cry uncontrollably and it was at that moment that I knew that my purpose on this earth was nothing less than to change it.
It was in the car on the way back to the city, that I began to form a plan – how could I find a way to get the world to feel what I had just felt, and in turn, open the hearts of humankind so that they could help to combat this hideous reality of child rape?
Letters go unread and phone calls go unanswered… I couldn't take the world to Khayelitsha, but I could take Khayelitsha to the world…
When I was 5 years old my Dad let me watch Steven Spielberg's E.T. I sat the whole 90 minutes with my heart in my mouth. I didn't know how, or why, but I knew that this thing called a ‘film' would be the basis for the rest of my life. It was when I grew older and could conceptualize what a film was, that I knew my passion and greatest dream was to become a filmmaker. Thus I uncovered the perfect way to help the centre – I decided to make a documentary film about rape in South Africa 's townships and use the film as a fundraising tool to gain the financial means to, one day, build a centre that could do the job it dreamed of doing - providing top-quality facilities, both medical and legal.
Being a 16-year-old aspiring filmmaker was, to say the least, daunting. Films cost money that I didn't have, and require experience I couldn't possibly have, but I can vouch that when you have a dream strong enough and a passion fiery enough, combined with drive and perseverance, the impossible can indeed be achieved.
Through my grandparents in the USA , I got in touch with a couple who are on the board of directors of Rutgers University in New Jersey , USA , Jerry and Lorraine Aresty. I told them my idea and dream and with enthusiasm they offered to sponsor my project. I received a check a day later for $1,000, which at the time was close to R10, 000. Indeed, a large amount to receive at 16 years old. However, let nobody be fooled – a one hour documentary film about rape in South Africa was filmed the same year by the BBC and it cost over R100 000… Nevertheless, with my budget in hand, the first brick upon my road to my dream was paved…
For the four months it took to produce the film from creation to completion, I remember the emotion of it all – not sleeping, story boarding in my head, scripting, running from my principal's office to the library with ideas to expand upon, not spending a single moment sitting down, and trying desperately to fit in the studying and the basketball practice… I think my mother was more worried that I would end in hospital before the end than I was about my schoolwork!
I asked three of my school peers (two of whom are my closest friends) to help me with the project as all three are artistically talented and I knew that they could share my same vision for the film – Lexi Aronson, Shani Judes and Jae Braun. I had money and a crew – but I had no camera, no experience behind a camera, no transport, no editor and no sound or recording studio… So, I opened the Yellow Pages…
Not many professional film makers have the time to listen to an enthusiastic 16 year old ‘film maker', however I was pleasantly surprised to receive an abundant amount of warmth and assistance from a few sympathetic professionals in the S.A film industry. As they quite clearly told me – they were once 16 with big dreams themselves…
Magus Visual , a small company in the Cape Town CBD, is a film equipment rental company.
The owner listened intently to my idea and asked me to come and see her the next day. She agreed to help me any way she could and also found me an editor, Drawbridge Productions, and music studio, Milestone Studios . In a few short hours her staff trained Lexi and me in the operating of the camera we would be using to film — the same equipment used to film the famous television program Fear Factor. Trusting us to use the equipment was the greatest encouragement we could have ever received. Not only did they train and trust us, but they charged me only for the film tapes; the rental was 100% pro-bono!
In the winter school holidays we were accompanied into Khayelitsha by the CSO (voluntary
Jewish Security Force) and filmed for two days and acquired approximately 10 hours of footage.
We were accompanied by Nocawe Mankayi through Khayelitsha, interviewing locals, policeman, young rape victims, hospital staff, etc. The warmth and hospitality we were shown was overwhelming – we sat in shebeens (drinking places) and laughed with the drunken pool players, we sat on old couches in the locals' shacks and were offered what little food and coffee they had…
After filming was complete, postproduction began – editing, sound and voice over recordings, sound tracks… The 24 minute documentary film was finally completed in August 2002 – Uthando Labatwana – For the Love of Our Children : dedicated to the children of the world whose bravery and strength exceeds that of a thousand shooting stars.
The premier screening took place in my high school hall in September 2002 with an audience of nearly 200 people. As the final credits rolled, my eyes filled with tears as I stood before my first true standing ovation. The official photograph of the film (taken by Shani Judes) was auctioned for R1, 700 as well as the sale of posters and receiving of donations. The evening raised a total of over R4, 000.
Since the premier in 2002, the outcome and success of the Uthando Labatwana project has taken off…
After an interview with Lisa Chiat on Cape Town 's 567 Cape Talk Radio , I was contacted by an organization called Help South Africa Now who helped find a motorcar to donate to the centre, allowing them a means to travel throughout the township and rescue victims. Over R50 000 in cash was donated to the centre, R20 000 of which came from Protea Hotels , and R20 000 from Daimler Chrysler .
I was a finalist in the 2002, and won the Rotary Young Person of the Year Award , sponsored by the Waterfront Rotary Club.
The 2002 South African Stone Film Awards presented me with the award for Craft in Education, Social Awareness and Training for Best Research, the New Comer Section (the professional category was won by Sesame Street and Top Billing ) making me the youngest person ever to receive such an award. It seemed the path to my career was founded. The word overwhelming is not expressive enough!
Using my film as a basis for discussion in an entry for the 2003 South African Apollo Film Festival Essay contest , I was placed 2 nd and received R1 000, for my essay entitled Film in South Africa .
The film was screened at various high schools in the Western Cape and donations were received from the student audiences. Christmas and Easter parties have taken place at the centre with donated gifts and items for the children.
At the end of my matric year I delivered a speech to the International Women's Club chaired at the time by former Cape Town Mayor, Diane Berrill, and since that time the club has been involved in fundraising for the Centre.
Shortly afterwards Reeds Delta and Old Mutual began to offer assistance in financing the building of a new centre, after having seen the film. This year the building of a R2 million centre is underway and if all goes according to plan, by the end of 2004, the first phase will be completed.
The centre will be equipped with a hostel, medical facilities, doctor's rooms, lawyer's rooms and various offices…
I am currently a Rotary Youth Exchange Student Ambassador in Kyoto , Japan . My year will be complete in January 2005. I showed the film to the Kameoka City Hall and the Kameoka International Centre in an attempt to raise funds in Japan , to take the project even further.
Overwhelmed by the horror of child rape in South Africa and enthusiastic to help me with my project, they decided to get involved in any way they could! A professional film studio in Japan called Asia Wide Network subtitled the film in Japanese and on August 21 I am delivering a speech and conducting an interview (in Japanese) about my project and the Rape Epidemic, as well as premiering the film in Japanese, at the International Awareness Festival before an audience of over 300 people, all of whom hold positions of influence in the international sector.
After which, an organization is going to be created here in Kyoto, whose sole purpose will be to create awareness about the issue of child rape (which to my horror, no Japanese person was aware of – not even the International Centre!) and raise funds for the centre and the child rape cause. The film will be managed by Asia Wide Network , raising funds by charging royalties for whoever screens the film, as well as using the film as an educational film in schools and facility centres. On top of this they are creating a documentary about me and the road I have travelled to get to where I am now and the project's history and developments. As a bonus they are also entering the film into Japan 's largest documentary film festival in 2005, which will indeed promote the maximum awareness.
The above mentioned are the physical achievements and developments, but I believe the abstract ones are equally as important to mention. What I have learnt and experienced in this adventure are lessons I will carry with me until the day I die. I have learnt that no matter how old you are, the impossible is achievable, and that any dream, if wanted badly enough, can be reached – every single distant star! I have learnt that even though there are horrors facing our world, there is good buried within it, evident in those willing to reach out a hand and a heart and help. I firmly believe that the life of one person, if helped, can change the course of the world, as you never know who that one little girl or boy could be or could achieve…
Yes I have seen things that when I recall them, even now, I wince, and I have fought an epidemic that is more sickening than can be put into words. But looking at it from another perspective, I have also managed to find good amongst it all. I found smiles and tears in grateful faces, I got hugs from little girls in the ballerina outfits we gave them for Christmas, and I shook the hands of mothers and fathers grateful for help and understanding…
Most importantly, I found myself. I now know my purpose on earth! I am here solely to change the world. Clichéd? Perhaps. Far fetched? Maybe. Possible? Definitely! It is my dream to use film as a tool to achieve this purpose. Whether it is through feature film with world issue themes, or documentary non-fiction…Film is the media through which I am the most expressive, it is also the aspect of modern media that is enjoyed by the most people. More relevant, however, is that it is through film that I feel more emotion than I do experiencing anything else. Indeed, what better way to change the world then to use that which can truly capture and relay emotions of joy, hope, pain and every human emotion? My dream is to one day be successful enough to be able to use my position to achieve what is said to be impossible.
This has been, as I have said, the greatest and most humbling adventure of my life. It seems the future holds many possibilities and the road seems endless. I hope that I am able to have a future filled with as much growth and experience as I have experienced the last few years. Through this, I have solid proof, that you can change the world, so long as you have a heart without fears, a mind without walls, and a dream big enough to be shared!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In March 2005, Ashley was returning home with three friends from a meeting to discuss the way forward for the project when the car in which she was traveling was struck by another vehicle being driven by a drunk driver. Ashley was killed instantly thus ending a life filled with promise.
Article about Ashley written by Rodney Mazinter in the Atlantic Sun, May 14, 2009
“Before you can inspire with emotion, you must be swamped with if yourself. Before you can move their tears, your own must flow. To convince them, you must yourself believe” - Winston Churchill.
I was privileged to be at the opening of the .new Nonceba Child Rape Counseling Centre in Khayelitsha. It is not given to many to be able to prompt the emotions described by Churchill in others; particularly not from someone still at school, and even more so, not among the cynical and, dare I say selfish culture of today. Such a person was Ashley Kaimowitz who, in a few short years from when she was a Grade 11 schoolgirl at Herzlia in 2002 until her untimely death in a road accident in March 2005, managed to awaken the best instincts in not only South Africans, but ordinary men and women on six continents who were compelled to face up to the scourge of child rape.
It started when, as an Interact member. a Rotary-organized, school based service club, she met a remarkable woman, Noncewe Mankayi, founder of the Nonceba Centre for the care and counseling of the victims of child rape. Working from rented Shawco premises in Khayelitsha, Noncewe set about helping children who were victims of family violence including rape, or those who were orphaned by Aids and neglect.
The tiny centre was soon overwhelmed by clients and was unable to cope. Noncewe looked for and found, two willing and compassionate souls - Hazel Black and Dr Georges Tsalacopoulos, a gynecologist. Together they became the trustees of the Nonceba Trust which they founded, its purpose being to raise sufficient money to erect a building that could house patients and counselors able to cope with what was becoming a flood of victims. Into this maelstrom of tears came Ashley Kaimowitz. What she saw changed her life. With no experience, she set out to make a film that would bring the fate of the suffering children and the work of the cash-strapped Nonceba Centre to the attention of the public. She went knocking on doors, firstly of Cape Town's film-makers, who rose to her story and not only taught her the rudiments of film-making but lent her expensive equipment, and secondly editors who taught her how to edit the five hours she filmed over the 2002 mid-term holidays into the 20 minutes she eventually put in the can. Ashley received a standing ovation at the film's first screening at her own school. Her work was received with similar acclaim at other schools around the Peninsula and the cash started rolling in. Alas, it was still woefully short of the R1.2 million needed to erect a building on a site given to the Trust by the City Council. In 2003 Ashley was given the Young Person of the Year award presented annually by Rotary. She went to Japan as a Rotary Exchange Student in 2004 where her movie created a stir. On her return to Africa, she continued with her amazing work for the Nonceba Centre. In late March 2005, Ashley, driving her car was involved in a collision with another car whose driver was suspected of being drunk at the wheel. She died instantly Those closely connected to her, devastated at the loss of so obvious a talent and leader, decided that they would not let Ashley's dream die with her. The upshot is that after three years of hard work the committees of the Ashley Kaimowitz Memorial Fund, and the Nonceba Trust, have overseen the collection of money that not only resulted in the opening of a modern centre for counseling child rape victims in Khayelitsha, but also its complete furnishing and equipping: a living memorial to an inspirational young woman.
A legacy comes of age - Remembering Ashley Kaimowitz
Jun 15, 2023
ByTali Feinberg
It’s exactly 20 years since Cape Town teenager Ashley Kaimowitz picked up a camera to make a film that would reverberate to this day. At the age of 16, in June 2003, with no experience and during the icy winter holidays, she went to the township of Khayelitsha to make a documentary about child rape.
The film had a major impact. “The greatest adventure that I have ever embarked upon has also turned out to be the greatest accomplishment of my life,” she wrote at the time. “I now know my purpose on earth! The future holds many possibilities, and the road seems endless.”
With the world at her feet, Ashley spent a year in Japan as a Rotary Youth Exchange Student Ambassador and then returned to Cape Town before she planned to head to Australia to study film on a full scholarship. She was supposed to be in Australia at the beginning of 2005, but because of visa issues, she was still in the Mother City in March. It was then, late one night, that a drunk driver “T-boned” her car, killing her instantly. She was 19 years old.
Eighteen years later, friends, family, and even strangers are still grieving her senseless loss. At the same time, others have carried her dream forward. Her legacy continues to make an impact every day.
“She always had a sense of urgency,” says her mother, Megan. “It was like an unconscious knowing that time was too short.” At the time that she made her film, Ashley wrote about why she felt it was such a pressing mission. “The Nonceba Family Counselling Centre was established by local resident, Nocawe Mankayi, in a desperate attempt to fight rape. In Khayelitsha, one in every three girls is raped by the time they are 21 years old.”
She held a little girl who had been raped, and “it was at that moment that I knew that my purpose on this earth was nothing less than to change it”, she wrote.
When she visited the centre as part of her school’s outreach committee, it operated from a small room. “Dedicated volunteers counsel victims of rape and abuse – mainly children – and provide legal and psychological aid to the victims and their families. They also teach the community about rape and its consequences,” wrote Ashley, who attended United Herzlia Schools.
Seeing how Mankayi was operating out of such dire circumstances, Ashley envisioned raising enough funds to build a new centre that would be a source of refuge, education, and change. But how to do it? “She loved film ever since we showed her E.T.,” says her father, Jeffrey. “We showed her and her sister, Kelly, all the classics.” Ever since then, Ashley knew that she wanted to be a filmmaker. “And so, she decided, ‘If I can’t bring Khayelitsha to the world, I’ll bring the world to Khayelitsha’ through film,” Jeffrey says.
Having never filmed before, she somehow convinced donors to fund her and production companies to lend her the best equipment as well as train her and her friends how to use it. “We got security to go with her, but after the first day, they told us, ‘We need her, she doesn’t need us,’” remembers Megan. “Her sense of community was unbelievable.”
The 24-minute-documentary was completed in August 2002. Ashley titled it Uthando Labantwana – For the love of our Children. She was thrilled to raise significant funds. After her death, more donations streamed in, and in 2008, the doors of the new centre were opened.
The centre is equipped with medical facilities, a counselling clinic, a safe house for children, an abused-women’s shelter, a community hall, training facilities, multiple offices for doctors, lawyers, social workers, and psychologists, an ample playground, and much more. It’s open all day every day, with live-in staff and an entire team trained in crisis response.
“Though Ashley isn’t here to witness the fruits of her labour, the centre is dedicated to her memory and her relentless support of Nocawe’s mission,” says Tara Paterson of XIX Entertainment, one of the many people who has carried Ashley’s dream forward.
“Some days it’s inconceivable that Ashley is no longer alive considering the impact she still has on her friends, family, community, and those at Nonceba,” says close friend, Karla Green Dana. “The older I get, the more I realise just how extraordinary she was and what a remarkable life she lived for such a young person. One day, I’d love to write a children’s book about Ashley and the lessons she taught us.”
When Ashley held that little girl who had been raped, the rapist was the child’s own father. Ashley was devastated, writing, “My father is my hero, my protector, and caregiver.” And her father has taken on his daughter’s mission. He’s the chairperson of The Nonceba Family Counselling Centre Trust.
His pride and passion shine through. “The centre is sadly flourishing. I say that because the volume of rape and abuse is unending. It was even worse during the COVID-19 pandemic, but we managed to keep the place open.” He’s deeply involved in the day-to-day running of the centre.
He believes that he often receives signs from Ashley, “thanking her dad for doing this for her”. Both he and Megan often feel Ashley’s presence. Meanwhile, the drunk driver who killed her got off free, paying only a R300 fine for driving a car that didn’t belong to him.
They know that their daughter would have done great things, and she wasn’t shy about her ambitions. “She bought herself an imitation Oscar statue because she knew that one day, she wanted to replace it with the real thing,” remembers her father. Megan says Ashley chose Japan for her exchange programme because it was the most challenging place to go.
It’s moments like these that show what could have been. “Everybody grieves differently,” says Megan. “It was worse after two years because that’s when reality sets in.”
The little girl that changed Ashley’s life grew up, other children who passed through the centre went on to build careers and families, and Mankayi moved on, followed by excellent centre directors. Next year, Ashley would have been gone for as long as she lived. “Thank G-d we had her for 19 years,” says Megan. “She taught us so much. Time doesn’t heal, but time allows you to find mechanisms to cope. It’s a hole that never fills.”
For those who want to carry Ashley’s mission into the future, the obvious choice is to help maintain the centre. “In addition, get involved in something in her name,” says Jeffrey.
“Through this [project], I have solid proof that you can change the world so long as you have a heart without fear, a mind without walls, and a dream big enough to be shared,” wrote Ashley. These words are etched into her gravestone.
During the earthquake in Turkey in February 2023, a man was photographed holding the hand of his daughter, who had been crushed by the rubble. “I keep that picture on my desk to remind me that others are also in pain,” says Jeffrey. And just like that father, he has never stopped holding his little girl’s hand, carrying her mission forward every step of the way.
Jun 15, 2023
ByTali Feinberg
It’s exactly 20 years since Cape Town teenager Ashley Kaimowitz picked up a camera to make a film that would reverberate to this day. At the age of 16, in June 2003, with no experience and during the icy winter holidays, she went to the township of Khayelitsha to make a documentary about child rape.
The film had a major impact. “The greatest adventure that I have ever embarked upon has also turned out to be the greatest accomplishment of my life,” she wrote at the time. “I now know my purpose on earth! The future holds many possibilities, and the road seems endless.”
With the world at her feet, Ashley spent a year in Japan as a Rotary Youth Exchange Student Ambassador and then returned to Cape Town before she planned to head to Australia to study film on a full scholarship. She was supposed to be in Australia at the beginning of 2005, but because of visa issues, she was still in the Mother City in March. It was then, late one night, that a drunk driver “T-boned” her car, killing her instantly. She was 19 years old.
Eighteen years later, friends, family, and even strangers are still grieving her senseless loss. At the same time, others have carried her dream forward. Her legacy continues to make an impact every day.
“She always had a sense of urgency,” says her mother, Megan. “It was like an unconscious knowing that time was too short.” At the time that she made her film, Ashley wrote about why she felt it was such a pressing mission. “The Nonceba Family Counselling Centre was established by local resident, Nocawe Mankayi, in a desperate attempt to fight rape. In Khayelitsha, one in every three girls is raped by the time they are 21 years old.”
She held a little girl who had been raped, and “it was at that moment that I knew that my purpose on this earth was nothing less than to change it”, she wrote.
When she visited the centre as part of her school’s outreach committee, it operated from a small room. “Dedicated volunteers counsel victims of rape and abuse – mainly children – and provide legal and psychological aid to the victims and their families. They also teach the community about rape and its consequences,” wrote Ashley, who attended United Herzlia Schools.
Seeing how Mankayi was operating out of such dire circumstances, Ashley envisioned raising enough funds to build a new centre that would be a source of refuge, education, and change. But how to do it? “She loved film ever since we showed her E.T.,” says her father, Jeffrey. “We showed her and her sister, Kelly, all the classics.” Ever since then, Ashley knew that she wanted to be a filmmaker. “And so, she decided, ‘If I can’t bring Khayelitsha to the world, I’ll bring the world to Khayelitsha’ through film,” Jeffrey says.
Having never filmed before, she somehow convinced donors to fund her and production companies to lend her the best equipment as well as train her and her friends how to use it. “We got security to go with her, but after the first day, they told us, ‘We need her, she doesn’t need us,’” remembers Megan. “Her sense of community was unbelievable.”
The 24-minute-documentary was completed in August 2002. Ashley titled it Uthando Labantwana – For the love of our Children. She was thrilled to raise significant funds. After her death, more donations streamed in, and in 2008, the doors of the new centre were opened.
The centre is equipped with medical facilities, a counselling clinic, a safe house for children, an abused-women’s shelter, a community hall, training facilities, multiple offices for doctors, lawyers, social workers, and psychologists, an ample playground, and much more. It’s open all day every day, with live-in staff and an entire team trained in crisis response.
“Though Ashley isn’t here to witness the fruits of her labour, the centre is dedicated to her memory and her relentless support of Nocawe’s mission,” says Tara Paterson of XIX Entertainment, one of the many people who has carried Ashley’s dream forward.
“Some days it’s inconceivable that Ashley is no longer alive considering the impact she still has on her friends, family, community, and those at Nonceba,” says close friend, Karla Green Dana. “The older I get, the more I realise just how extraordinary she was and what a remarkable life she lived for such a young person. One day, I’d love to write a children’s book about Ashley and the lessons she taught us.”
When Ashley held that little girl who had been raped, the rapist was the child’s own father. Ashley was devastated, writing, “My father is my hero, my protector, and caregiver.” And her father has taken on his daughter’s mission. He’s the chairperson of The Nonceba Family Counselling Centre Trust.
His pride and passion shine through. “The centre is sadly flourishing. I say that because the volume of rape and abuse is unending. It was even worse during the COVID-19 pandemic, but we managed to keep the place open.” He’s deeply involved in the day-to-day running of the centre.
He believes that he often receives signs from Ashley, “thanking her dad for doing this for her”. Both he and Megan often feel Ashley’s presence. Meanwhile, the drunk driver who killed her got off free, paying only a R300 fine for driving a car that didn’t belong to him.
They know that their daughter would have done great things, and she wasn’t shy about her ambitions. “She bought herself an imitation Oscar statue because she knew that one day, she wanted to replace it with the real thing,” remembers her father. Megan says Ashley chose Japan for her exchange programme because it was the most challenging place to go.
It’s moments like these that show what could have been. “Everybody grieves differently,” says Megan. “It was worse after two years because that’s when reality sets in.”
The little girl that changed Ashley’s life grew up, other children who passed through the centre went on to build careers and families, and Mankayi moved on, followed by excellent centre directors. Next year, Ashley would have been gone for as long as she lived. “Thank G-d we had her for 19 years,” says Megan. “She taught us so much. Time doesn’t heal, but time allows you to find mechanisms to cope. It’s a hole that never fills.”
For those who want to carry Ashley’s mission into the future, the obvious choice is to help maintain the centre. “In addition, get involved in something in her name,” says Jeffrey.
“Through this [project], I have solid proof that you can change the world so long as you have a heart without fear, a mind without walls, and a dream big enough to be shared,” wrote Ashley. These words are etched into her gravestone.
During the earthquake in Turkey in February 2023, a man was photographed holding the hand of his daughter, who had been crushed by the rubble. “I keep that picture on my desk to remind me that others are also in pain,” says Jeffrey. And just like that father, he has never stopped holding his little girl’s hand, carrying her mission forward every step of the way.